Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Dark Side

To me, being a hockey girlfriend is all about being a positive support system for your boyfriend. But what happens when things aren't going as well as you'd hoped? How can you support someone if they're not getting any playing time? Or if he has a minor concussion that he isn't telling his coach/family about? Or if your boyfriend seems to be less passionate about hockey? 

It all comes with the territory. Being a hockey girlfriend is not always very glamorous. This hockey season has been very different than the last one. My favorite hockey boy went from being the best player on his team at prep school, to being scratched every other game once he went into Juniors. Obviously being scratched again and again and being moved back and forth from the fourth line to the second line results in a bruised ego. And lots of frustration. There's only so many times that one can say "Stay positive, you just need to give yourself more time to get adjusted" before it loses its meaning. 

Luckily, things have been turning around for him. Hopefully he'll stay on the second line now.  I've found that the best way to show support when things aren't going well is to just be there for him. Let him talk about hockey and all his frustrations until you want to hit your head off of a wall just so you can stop hearing him repeat himself (but seriously, I can only listen to him say how much better he is than the first liners so many times before I want to knock myself out). Sometimes, it helps just to not talk about it at all. My boyfriend has days where he just doesn't want anything to do with hockey (these are the dark days) so I try to distract him from it the best I can. Get to as many games as you can. I'm jealous of all the girls that get to go to a lot of their boyfriends games. 

As for the minor concussion thing... I try to stay out of that. My boyfriend has a bad history with concussions. The kind of bad that means if he gets another one doctors won't let him play contact sports for two years. As terrible as it sounds, I know its not my place to say anything about the hard hits he gets to the head sometimes. He has told me more than once this season that he feels like he has a minor concussion, and as hard as it is to not tell his parents or anyone, I know he has to deal with it himself. He'd get super mad if I said anything to his parents because it's not like he can afford to miss any part of his season, considering the fact that this is his one and only year of Juniors and he hasn't heard many offers from colleges. So I chose to stay out of it and let him deal with that himself. 

At any point this season, if your boyfriends are going through a "dark time" I hope you remember this... Be there for him. Be as sympathetic and understanding as you can. He'll appreciate it more than you know.

xoxo Junior Hockey Girlfriend

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